TULSA, Okla. — As families gather for Thanksgiving and the upcoming holiday season, many will face an uncomfortable reality: discussing money feels more taboo than talking about politics, religion or even personal weight.
A new Bankrate survey found that 61% of Americans feel uncomfortable discussing their bank account balances, making financial conversations the most awkward topic at family gatherings. Credit card debt discussions (47%) and salary conversations (45%) ranked close behind, while fewer adults reported discomfort with religious views (18%), political views (24%) or weight (31%).
"We always hear that it's risky to bring up topics such as politics and religion at holidays and social gatherings, but our survey reveals that money and romance are much bigger taboos," said Ted Rossman, Bankrate Senior Industry Analyst. "We need to get better at talking about money."
The financial anxiety extends beyond just conversations. Many families feel pressure to overspend during the holidays, creating additional stress around gift-giving and entertaining.
"No one in your family wants to see you go into credit card debt, so if it comes down to it, this is really the time of year when you can have those conversations," said Sarah Foster from Bankrate.
Breaking the money talk barrier
Financial experts suggest several strategies to ease the discomfort around money discussions during family gatherings.
Ana Staples, a Bankrate Credit Analyst, emphasized the importance of overcoming financial shame.
"The downside is that sense of shame stays with you because you may feel like, oh, this is my failure, that says something about me as a person, which it doesn't," Staples said.
Rossman recommends starting small with trusted family members and finding common ground, such as discussing how inflation has affected household budgets or sharing favorite budgeting apps and savings goals.
"When we talk about these things together, we can exchange our experiences, we can exchange the solutions as well," Staples said.
Managing holiday spending pressure
The pressure to buy expensive gifts for family members creates additional financial stress during an already expensive time of year. Foster suggests setting clear expectations about spending limits before the holidays begin.
"Maybe instead of buying a gift for everyone, it's a Secret Santa where we just buy one gift for one person. Maybe instead of buying gifts for everyone, we just all go out to eat and share a meal together," Foster said.
Stephanie Carls from Retail-Me-Not emphasized that experiences often create longer-lasting memories than expensive items.
"As a mother myself can understand where people are wanting to have these, you know big Christmases, and making sure that their kids are happy, but it's also, taking a look at even experiences and those memories that honestly stay with your kids longer than you know, items do," Carls said.
Practical tips for holiday financial conversations
Financial experts recommend several approaches to make money discussions less stressful:
- Start conversations with trusted family members about common financial pressures like inflation's impact on budgets
- Remember you're under no obligation to share specific salary or debt information
- Suggest alternatives to expensive gift exchanges, such as Secret Santa or name-drawing
- Consider potluck-style gatherings to share hosting costs
- Focus on creating memories together rather than expensive purchases
Foster noted that many families are already aware of widespread affordability challenges, making these conversations more welcome.
"I think many families are just very cognizant about the price, you know, the affordability challenges that so many of us are facing," Foster said.
Starting these conversations could be the first step toward lasting financial security for families navigating economic pressures together.
This story was reported on-air by a journalist and has been converted to this platform with the assistance of AI. Our editorial team verifies all reporting on all platforms for fairness and accuracy.
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