TULSA, Okla. — Barry Friedman is a local writer and comedian. He’s been featured on NPR and Esquire. He even had a one-liner in the Weird Al Yankovic movie, “UHF.”
Many Tulsans know Barry, but they don’t know Jack. And he thinks it’s time you do.
Most every day at New York Bagel Café in Brookside, you’ll see Barry, a native New Yorker, with his salt bagel and a side of mustard at his table adorned with the plaque, “Barry Friedman: Bagel Connoisseur.”
“I only eat seven things anyway and they have four of them,” jokes Barry.
Friends say Barry’s a character, but the character he wants people to know is Jack, his dad, who, until his death at 96 last November, joined him at the bagel shop every Saturday.
The snarky title of Barry’s new book about him, “Jack Sh*t,” makes sense. For example, Jack wore a toupee that he would cut himself.
“Think of the worse toupee ever,” said Barry. “This was worse.”
Barry encouraged Jack to get one custom-made instead of buying one from a box.
“What do you want me to do, that’s the way they come?” he would respond.
Jack never called anything—or anyone—the right name. He would call Barry’s brother Leo or Bernie. He referred to River Spirit Casino as River Schsticks Casino. New York Bagel, which used to be named Old School Bagel, was referred to as Owl Head.
He would call New York Bagel Café co-owner Aaron Quinton, “Owen.”
Quinton says the Friedmans are now considered family, but never understood why Jack was always so complimentary of their coffee.
Why? It’s slightly misrepresenting coffee when made for Jack Friedman: decaf, with five creamers of various flavors, four packets of Sweet ‘N’ Low, and three cubes of ice,
A World War II veteran and Purple Heart recipient, Jack became an accountant. Barry is convinced his dad tried to compensate the “boring” stereotype with his personality.
The book covers other aspects of Jack’s life, but focuses on the last years in Tulsa where he moves to be closer to Barry. He didn’t want to move here.
“That was his joke: Tulsa is not a city, it’s a condition,” Barry said.
He would grow to enjoy Tulsa. Barry believes his dad complained about it for a different reason.
“Like a lot of old people, they know the last couple of stops on the train,” he said. “I think, he thought, when he moved to Tulsa to be with me… he knew it meant it was coming to an end and he never like to think of himself as old.”
So while the book is about Jack’s witty and facetious life, it’s really about the “here and now.” The Saturday breakfasts are the moments that matter.
“These moments are more important than the last 35 minutes of one’s life where you’re sitting in a hospital room, trying to tie up the relationship.”
He worried some would think he is exploiting his father or trivializing dementia. Don’t worry: in life and in the book, Jack gets the last word.
Magic City Books is hosting a book signing with Barry Friedman celebrating the “incomparable Jack Friedman” on Wednesday, Feb. 1 at 7:00 p.m. It is free and open to the public.
Stay in touch with us anytime, anywhere --
- Download our free app for Apple, Android and Kindle devices.
- Sign up for daily newsletters emailed to you
- Like us on Facebook
- Follow us on Instagram
- Follow us on Twitter
