TULSA - I agree with you Coach Harbaugh. This game of picking winners is a frustrating one.
I finished Week 1 at 9-7, thanks to the choke of the San Diego Chargers.
I guess Norv Turner wasn't to blame after all.
Week 1 gives me the opportunity to come up with plenty of excuses for losing seven games. Remember I told you last week to believe me half the time. If you did that you would have been off by only one game.
Excuse #1. I picked Tampa Bay to beat the Jets, and that would have happened had the incredibly stupid TB defender not shoved Jet QB Smith 6 feet out of bounds. That set up the winning field goal with no time left.
Excuse #2. The Buffalo Bills getting cocky at the end instead of paying attention to Tom Brady and company. That cost me my upset special of the week. At least I beat the spread on that one.
Excuse #3. Picking a team in the AFC North. What was I thinking?! I picked against Pittsburgh, but didn't pick against the Browns. Go figure.
Excuse #4. Cincinnati lost at Chicago, thanks to a choke by the Bengals, and another one of those personal foul penalties at the end of the game. Do these guys not listen? You do not shove guys when they are out of bounds when the game is about to end and you still have a chance. Coaches should fine these guys the entire season paycheck for that stuff.
Excuse #5. Took Atlanta to beat New Orleans. Put too much faith in Falcons, again. Will I ever learn?!
Excuse #6. Taking Washington over Philly. So who knew the Kelly offense would work for one half of an entire NFL season? RGIII too rusty in the beginning.
Excuse #7. Took Jints over Pokes. Eli, Eli, what in the world were you thinking? And nice running backs Giants! Thanks a lot. Six turnovers. That is nuts. And they almost won! Have you ever seen a QB look like the best in the business one series, and look like a total numskull in the next? Incredible!.
Okay I am out of excuses. Now back to picking winners.
Jets at New England - Now that Giselle has the house fully redecorated, she can pay more attention to details at the football stadium. Like telling her husband to not fumble at the goal line, and telling those Pats receivers to run the right routes. And you thought Belichick ran this team. Please! Mrs. Brady is the real coach of this outfit. Pats win, 35-10.
Rams at Falcons - Can't see a team as good as the Falcons losing two in a row to start the season. But you never know. Still common sense says ATL. Who says I have common sense. Love to see Sam's Rams do well, but don't see it here. The Rams have the 49ers' number, but not the Falcons'. 34-20 Atlanta.
Carolina at Buffalo - Buffalo gets second straight home game, and can they contain Cam Newton? Thought long and hard in picking Carolina, but changed my mind at the last moment. I have a soft heart for Buffalo. City is not as bad as people make it out to be. Ok, so it's cold and rainy and plenty of snow. It also has Niagara Falls. Can't be all bad. Go Bills 21-20.
Minnesota at Chicago - Bears so lucky to win last week. Can you believe Marc Trestman is only the fourth Bears coach to ever win his first game as head coach? That is crazy. Viking Adrian Peterson ran for a long TD on his very first touch, and held to less than 20 yards the rest of the way. Is Minnesota one of those teams that will never get over the hump? I took Adrian and the Vikes to win this one, 26-19.
Washington at Green Bay - Tough turnaround for Redskins. Monday night loss, followed by a road game in Green Bay. Coaches say this is the toughest turnaround in the league. Monday night followed by hitting the road Sunday. Will Green Bay really go 0-2? No. Pack attack wins in a game that may never end, 48-45.
Miami at Indy - My upset of the week. Colts were Luck-y to escape with a win against lowly Oakland last week. I'm sorry, I can't give the Raiders any credit for being better. Dolphins are tougher than people think. Fish win 13-10.
Dallas at KC - Is KC really better? Yes. DalCow banged up. Romo has another rib problem. Dez has a bad ankle. Cowboy D showed holes against Giants. Go Chiefs 23-20.
Cleveland at Baltimore - QB Weeden already bruised and battered, and still getting creamed by Cleveland fans and media. Talk about piling on! Tough second game at a seething defending champ. Ravens by a bunch, 33-10.
Tennessee at Houston - Old Oilers against new Oilers. How many former Oilers fans will be in stadium rooting for Big Blue? Met one Tuesday, believe it or not, who was a big Oilers fan when they were in Houston, and stayed with them when they moved to Nashville. INCREDIBLE. That's where the fun story ends. Texans have no respect for the Bum. 27-20 Texans.
San Diego at Philly - QB Vick already limping after dealing with machine
gun Kelly offense. Chargers are still the Chargers. This could be a fun game to watch. Eagles to be winded by mid-season. They win here though. Eagles fans get false hope of thinking they are really good. Kiss of death. Eagles hold on by an eyelash, 27-26.
Detroit at Arizona - Cards are bad. But I'm going with my theory of a team losing game one on the road, comes home to win game two at home. Reason? Still healthy this early in the season. Suh breaks record for most fines given a player. His fines could pay the entire salary of the Commissioner by the end of the season. Cards 34-28.
New Orleans at Tampa - I just did a double take at my sheet, and realized I picked TB to win this one. Sorry, I really have no reason. TB 29-27.
Jax at Oakland - This is the one I give my keyboard a break. Not worth too many words. Oakland 31-10.
Denver at NY Giants - Manning vs Manning. Manu y Mano. Peyton vs Eli. Football on your Phone? These two rap their way into Meadowlands, and try to outdo each other by throwing 15 TD passes each. Did I mention throwing 15 INTs as well? Hard to figure this one. Eli hopes to redeem himself after mess in Texas. Not many of you agree, according to the contest poll. Giants win 35-32.
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati - Told you last week Steelers running game is a joke. Thirty yards on the ground. It's worse than a joke. Age and injuries finally catching up to the Curtain. It's draw the curtains on this proud franchise. Bengals win 23-21.
San Fran at Seattle - Sunday night game on Channel 2. Another good game for the Peacock. Going Seattle here, and without the replacement refs giving Seahawks bogus touchdown like they did against Green Bay this time last year. Seahawks over Niners, 31-28.
That is all. Good luck, and I'll have more excuses for you next week.
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